Mum's The Word

How many times have you withheld valuable information? I am not talking about FBI case files information.  I am referring to information such as paying someone a compliment, praising your employees for a job well done, telling someone how you truly feel. By holding back you might have missed out on giving that one person a boost of much needed confidence.  By giving kudos for a job well done to your team or team members, could motivate them in a positive way, Telling a friend how you feel about them might strengthen or save a friendship. I was blessed with the gift of gab so I really do not have an issue with holding back. I probably need to batten down the hatch on my often over flow of speaking at times. I have seen this in various settings when a person does not speak up. Speaking up can change the entire outcome of a situation. It could be good or bad depending on the situation but one thing for sure at least when you speak up unknowns are verified.  I tell my team often that it's not what you say but how you say it that matters. I can deliver the same message as you can and it could be perceived in two different context. Take notice to how you say things. Your voice tone and body language play an important role in how the message is sent.  Be straightforward with information. Do not allow fear to win over words. You don't know the positive impact you might have on someone if you speak up. Sometimes holding back can be self inflicting causing you to always wonder "what if" I had said something. Would things have turned out different? Could I have made a difference? Living with regret can be avoided. Don't be such a tight lip!

Whiner or Winner?

Are you a Whiner or Winner? All this March madness has folks being a little of both. I figure, there will be a lot of both going on after tonights game. My facebook feed will be flooded with post game comments. Sporting events are not the only events where there are whiners or winners. Stop and think about it. This occurs daily for many people. When things do not go our way we often whine or complain, some more than others. Every one desires to be a winner in everything: sports, work, relationships, etc. I admit to be geared that way. I hate to loose at anything. As a leader I have seen both whiners and winners. In my observations, winners are driven, highy self motivated individuals that keep pressing forward to not only meet but exceed their goals. These folks do not let minor set backs keep them down. They figure out a way to to overcome obstacles, learn from the experience and keep going forward. Whiners, dwell on set backs. The time and energy they spend complaining could be utilized to move forward but yet they have a continous whoa is me moment that can last days or longer. Whiners are not bad people. They just have a different outlook on life than winners. Whiners are quick to make excuses instead of trying to figure out a better way to reach the goal. Well, it was so and so's fault or no one told me or how was I suppose to know when all along the only person to blame is themselves. Winners take ownsership of their mistakes and do not blame others. Winners seek help others because when we help each other it is a win win for everyone involved. I love it when every one win's. There will be one team tonight that will score the most points and advance to the next round but both teams are winners. Our state is represented well by both teams and that is something to be proud of as a Kentuckian. Yes, I know their are diehard UK fans and diehard Louisville fans that seem to have split personalities during basketball season.  The rivalry can be brutal and obnoxious.  Keep in mind that it takes the same amount of energy to be a winner as it does a whiner. It is all in attitude. Attitude is everything so the next time you even think about being a whiner, stop and consider how the simplest adjustment in your attitude can make you a winner. The outcome will be much sweeter! Something else, how we act often sets a path that others follow:  our kids, co-workers and teammates. Think about that one. Exemplify traits of a winner.    

May your team be the one with the most points tonight but both Kentucky teams are winners! Have a safe weekend. 

Bossy Girls Can Become Successful Leaders

Today's society is not gender specific when it comes to women in leadership or executive positions. There was a point in time that it was unheard of for women to be in such working roles. It was thought that a woman belonged at home while the man worked outside the home. I have never been a stay at home mom and at times have been envious of those that have that opportunity. Staying at home is work too so I am not knocking it in the least. It is not couch time and soap opras like many perceive it to be. I have always desired to be a leader even from an early age. I can remember picking kick ball teams in elementary school so perhaps that is when it all began for me. We all love to pick our own teams. We want only the best players on our team because we want to win. I am blessed with an awesome winning team. Some team members were on the prexisitng team prior to me becoming their leader. I've had the opportunity to select new team members when others have retired their jerseys after years of playing the game or changing their venue. Being a woman leader of a dozen men has it's challenges at times but at the end of the day we are still on the same team, working together safely to be successful at our jobs. Working in a male dominant environment and industry has contributed to the person I am today. It has given me a greater respect and apprecation for teamwork. Gender is not an issue when it comes to being a team player. We have a variety of knowledge, personalities, ideas, opinions and views that when compiled together make us a champion team (in my opinion). Yes, I am partial to my team and they know it. "Teamwork makes dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team," John Maxwell. A bad leader can destroy a great team and a bad team can destroy a great leader. 

"A leader is the one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way," John Maxwell. If you are the leader then it is up to you; to generate enthusiasm, give credit where and when credit is due, develop and inspire others, if you want to build and have a winning team. I could write on and on with what I think it takes to build a winning team but the most important key to me is being up-front and honest. Being up-front from the beginning so that others know what to expect and there are no surprises. Be honest in all aspects which earns respect and sets a precedence of your own expectations. Establishing expectations helps to eliminate unknowns and creates a better working environment and better relationships. Teamwork is just that, work but by working together towards the same goals, everyone is a winner. To all of you women out there that are seeking to be a leader, Go For It! If you are already a leader then kudos to you! It may take working harder at times to stay at the top of your game but it will be worth it. A great team builds a successful leader and great leader builds a successful team. Be Great! 

Relentless: Don't Give Up

How many of you are relentless? I know what relentless means to me but I looked up the proper defintion which stated; never ceasing, continual. Relentless to me means not giving up. I have a competitive side (surprise!) which drives me to not give up especially when it is something I am completely passionate about. There are times when on the path of a goal that it becomes difficult to take that next step. Sometimes it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It is almost like running on a treadmill. We are moving in place but not going anywhere.  All of the work and effort we put forth to climb that ladder of success seems unobtainable. We get frustrated and want to toss in the towel. We want to give up and say to heck with it BUT there is often something inside of us that tugs away pushing us forward. That tug leads us to think: hang on, don't give up! I have experienced this numerous times. Have you ever gotten to a point with a goal where you were so frustrated that you wanted to give completely up? It is difficult for me to give up when I am passionate about the goal I am pursuing. Steve Garvey said, "You must be passionate, you must dedicate yourself, you must be relentless in the pursuit of your goals. If you do you will be successful."  In order to acheive our goals we cannot give up. We must keep on keeping on, otherwise we will never be successful. I'm sure you have read, Anything worth having doesn't come easy but it's worth it. That may not be exactly how it reads but it is true. Sometimes by holding on, not giving up and being relentless we achieve greatness. We win! We succeed!  I challenge you to be relentless. Whatever it is you are pursuing keep going. Don't give up! Don't quit! Be Relentless! "Certainly I'm passionate and driven and quite relentless when I want something,"  Demi Moore.

Be A Ray of Sunshine

It's hard to believe this is the last day of March. As I ponder upon Spring time and how it's the season when living things come back to life to the eye (How appropriate as the Easter season is upon us, right). Daffodils are blooming, trees are starting to bud out, grass is greening up, turkeys are gobblilng and various other signs of Spring as we look or listen around us. It often makes me think of a fresh start but we don't have to wait for Spring in order to start new. We start over every day because each day is new. Today being, Monday, is the day we mostly dread because it is back to work or school for most of us. We are already have the countdown to Friday started before our first cup of Monday morning coffee. We get so programmed to the days of the week that we become complacent. I am guilty as anyone of wishing my days away but lately I've contemplated how quickly time seems to pass. Perhaps it is because I am getting older and those Monday's seem be occur quicker than previously. I am uncertain why we wish our lives away but we all do it. Yesterday is gone. It's over and done so therefore we can't change it. Tomorrow is unknown and not even guarenteed so we need not dwell on it. Today is what we have so therefore we should make the absolute best of it. Today is a gift. It doesn't matter where you are headed today, kick off your week on a positive note and see what happens. You might be surprised that being positive can inspire others to join in on your upbeat vibe. Be the sunshine that brightens today's path and all of those you meet along the way. 

Slaying Dragons

How many times have you desired to do something you were so passionate about but you were scared? Scared of taking that first step. Scared of what others might think. Scared of failing. Maybe it is a new job you are seeking but it would require you to relocate. There are so many unknowns that you are hesitant to even apply for the position. The wonder and worry causes you to loose sleep and be on an emotional roller coaster.  Does any of this sound familiar? It does not have to be a job you are seeking but in any situation or decision that needs to be made.  Fear is the dragon that we must slay. Franklin Delano Roosevelt stated in a speech in 1933, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." This is so true. As we sit around and contemplate fear we are wasting valuable time that we could be slaying that dragon with courage. Much of what we tend to fear is actually based on a feeling not fact.  Risk and fear go hand in hand. Taking risk can lead to fantastic rewards but you must realize that in order to achieve anything of great value you must take risk.  If we dwell on fear then we cannot move forward because fear can control and confine us. It is up to you to let go of what you cannot control and focus on what you can control. W. Clement Stone said, "When thinking won't cure fear, action will." By focusing on what you can control and taking action you become more courageous. Don't over think.  Don't miss out on opportunities because fear is standing in your way. Put your courageous sword to work and slay the fear dragon once and for all. What if you miss out on a chance of a life time all because you don't take action? You many only get one chance so take it. 

Be Brave! Sharpen your sword, slay that dragon, reap the rewards of being victorious over fear. Your prize awaits you. You can defeat fear!!

Detours and Directions

Yes, three consecutive days of blogging. There is no need in allowing my thoughts to go stale. Therefore as long as I have a few moments in the evening to jot down a few words I will keep rockin' on with it. I have a decorative chalk board hanging in my kitchen that was more than likely designed to post what's cookin? or a grocery list but I use it to post quotes. Imagine that, right! I enjoy inspirations quotes of all types if you haven't noticed. I wanted to post a quote that anyone from age 10 and up that walked into my kitchen would be able to relate to or understand. After participating in Read Across American I thought hmmmm Dr. Seuss quotes would be perfect for this particular project. This Dr. Seuss saying is posted on the chalk board;

 

     You have brains in your head,

     You have feet in your shoes,

     You can steer yourself,

     Any direction you choose.

Such a powerful message from a book we read as kids and that our kids read today. I love Dr. Seuss books. They are full of meaning and fun to read but often difficult to read aloud without getting tongue tied. There is much we can learn from this quote. Do you know what direction you are going or want to go? For example my oldest son is already weighing options for college in 2015. He is planning the direction he wants to go with college and career choices. This is just an example of the choices we make in order to move forward, seeking to accomplish goals and pursue our dreams. Sometimes we run into road blocks or hurdles that create detours. Don't let detours hold you back from traveling down the road to success or happiness. Detours just slow us down but they do not have to stop us. Use the brains in your head to figure out a different path to get there. Use those feet in your shoes to keep moving forward regardless of the speed bumps in your path.  I can say all of this because I have encountered detours, road blocks and speed bumps. Who hasn't right? We all have at some point in our lives and you know what? It is part of our journey. There is always going to be detours, road blocks and speed bumps in all aspects of our lives personally and professionally. We are going to have blow outs. Our batteries may need recharged every now and then. We may even run out of gas. Those things are to be expected as we travel but it is how we steer ourselves that veers us off course or keeps us on track. When we make a wrong turn it is up to us to find our way back to the right road. Sometimes it takes us a while to get back on the right track but we can get there. I have learned there is more to staying on course than using my brains and feet. I follow directions with the aide of my internal GPS. We all have our own built in GPS that is far more accurate than a Garmin or TomTom. It's called your heart. Rely on your internal GPS. It will help guide you along the way but if you ignore its directions you will be stuck with road rage on a road to nowhere. There is not a road block that you can't go around or speed bump you can't cross so get connected to your GPS and go places! What are you waiting on? Get Going! 

My added line to Dr. Seuss' quote:

     You have brains in your head,

     You have feet in your shoes,

     You can steer your self 

     Any direction you choose. 

     You have a built in GPS to use

     Rely on it then set your cruise.

Seeing isn't Believing, Believing is Seeing

I got a text last night from a dear friend that said I need one of your inspirational blogs. My response was, funny you say that I'm trying to post one now. I have had a heavy heart for a few days now and with that came yesterdays blog. The need of a friend to receive encouragement and the timing of my post was perfectly unplanned. We never know what struggles or battles that others are going through. Some people are grammy award winners when it comes to hiding their struggles. One can look like sunshine and daffodils on the outside when on the inside a hurricane is beating their inner shore. Things often are not what they appear to the eye. I have learned over the years of working with the public that deception is an art for some people. Whatever excuse you can come up with chances are I have heard it. Those of you that have occupations in the public field, know exactly what I am talking about. Some excuses are quite humorous while others are gut wrenching that draw us into that persons issues. How do we know if it's fact or fiction? That is a question we have all contemplated in our minds. Sometimes we have the facts in front of us or the excuse is so off-the-wall crazy that we know it is false. How do we react when we believe the words that have been said but later realize maybe they were only empty words? I've seen this occur in friendships, in the workplace, in families and I bet you have witnesses it or experienced it at some point in your life. I am one that believes in people especially in my children, my very best friends and my work team. 

Would you rather have a leader that believes in you or doubts you? Would you rather have employees that believe in you or doubt you? I am not sure where this quote originated but I have heard many times. "You are only as good as the people that work for you." I find a great deal of truth in that statement. I hope that if anyone were to ask any of my team members to list qualities about their leader that one of them would be, she believes in us. I like this quote from Judy Elf in The Santa Clause movie, "Seeing isn't believing, Believing is seeing" of course this was relating to Santa Clause. Each of us can interpret this quote differently. My thoughts are simple for I believe in valuing people. I believe in second chances. I believe in the words that are said when often they can't be expressed. I believe until that person proves themselves to be different to me which that happens. Then we revert back to yesterdays post about disappointment. Sometimes we want be believe in someone or in something (like a goal) so badly that we over focus on it. I am guilty of that being the a goal driven person I am. I had to back up, come to terms that I believed in an individual and their words more than the person that spoke them did or at least that is my perception. Although I could be wrong and that happens too.   I am such a people believer that I desire to see the good. Although someone let you down with empty words, not following through, excuses or not meeting expectations doesn't mean the next person will.  It is up to us to learn from our mistakes and also learn from the mistakes of others. Be accountable for your words and actions. Continue to believe in others. You might be surprised how believing in someone could impact their life in a positive way and yours too. As the 80's Journey song states, "Don't Stop Believin'". 

Just Believe......

I took this picture while visiting NYC in December. This was on the side of Macy's department store.

Disappointment Happens

I have not blogged for months now due lack of time with a busy schedule. I plan to make a valid effort to get back blogging more often. We all experience disappointment in this journey we call life. It can occur in many ways or forms but when it occurs to those that are near and dear to us it can leave a heart burning impact, in my opinion. I recently witnessed disappointment and experienced it myself which lead me to write on this subject. Those that know me quite well know that I am harder on myself than I am on anyone else. Sometimes when things do not work out how we anticipate they will or led to believe they will we get down on ourselves and on those that let us down. I have put a great deal of thought into disappointment lately. Knowing I let someone down would impact me tremendously. I cannot stand the thought of it actually. Then I see one of my kids being let down by an individual they admire and trust and it creates a fire ball of emotions within me. Yet, I know those feelings because I have experienced similar ones by being let down by individuals that I love, admire and trust.

As a leader I’ve experienced disappointment and seen it in the workplace. I would be safe in saying we have all experienced it but to me it's how we deal with it that is important. We can dwell on it and wallow in our own sadness or we can shake it off and keep going. Personally, I like to pout about it depending on the subject matter then move on but sometimes there is no time for pouting. Yes, it is true I am a pouter at times and I do not deny it. It may not always be easy to find something good in this type of situation but I feel that if we react in a positive way to the disappointment it can build personal strength for the next time it occurs. It will occur again. It is not a matter of if but a matter of when it will happen again because life is full of disappointments. Some can be diverted ahead of time while others are out of our control and hit us head on. I need to be a better example to others in how I handle disappointments. Leaders are looked up to, relied on and as parents we are in the same role but with a different audience. In order to give advice to my son, I pulled out of my own self hidden pouting mode and wore my consoling super-mom cape. One of my all-time favorite quotes from John Wooden is “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” Regardless of the let downs we experience in life it is up to us to make the best of the results. Does that mean we like the results? No, it surely does not but we can grow from it, chalk one up as a lesson learned and move forward as a stronger, smarter person.

Don’t let disappointment hold you back from living, breathing and being the person you were made to be but don’t be a dream killer for others. Be a person of your word.